Angell is a very pleasant young lady whom I had the pleasure of interacting with during my “residency” in Jacksonville. She has always seemed extremely well-known and very well connected and her presence at a least half of the events that I myself attended in any given week makes the information she shares below all the more intriguing.

Here is Angell’s story…

Background

Thank you for your willingness to share a bit about yourself and your experiences with the Sh’Shares NETWORK audience! Please tell us about your background including your childhood.

I was born and raised in Cleveland, Ohio. I am the mother of a 20 year old daughter, Angelique. I have a degree in Networking Administration/Programming but I have focused my career path more on writing. I’ve worked at Florida Blue for 16 years where I am currently an Interim Communications Analyst and a Team Lead. I’ve lived in Jacksonville, FL for 16 years as well.

Going a little deeper, what types of challenges have you faced over the years? Please provide details of some difficult situations you personally have experienced growing up.

One thing people don’t know about me…but I’m starting to share is that I’m almost 40yrs old and dealing with Social Anxiety Disorder. I realize that finding the root cause of my anxiety is the first major step in overcoming it. My anxiety started when I was about 12 years old and started viewing myself differently. I didn’t like my smile or my voice, and I felt I was too skinny. My self-esteem became very low, and I often compared myself to others. I was in honors classes but would never like to read in class because I felt people would see all my imperfections. Whenever they called on me, I struggled through darn-near severe panic attacks–voice cracking and all! It was humiliating, and I started avoiding it any time I could. At the age of 14, my father disowned me. He was the only light in my dark low esteem world and I was always daddy’s little girl up until then. Because he didn’t want to continue paying child support for me, he actually told me, “You are not mine.” It devastated me to the core. It was the ultimate rejection that just added fuel to my already damaged esteem: I wasn’t even good enough for my father to want! He spent the next few years of his life totally ignoring me. I started writing to express myself and hid how I felt to others. About 10 yrs ago I decided it was time to address it, so I did small things to face my fears. Being a writer opened up many doors for me. I started a magazine that inspires others, but when I was asked to come speak to people about it, I declined. Surely I couldn’t let them see my struggles! I would do things to face my fears and my voice cracked a little, so it would discourage me. I hold meetings at work with no problem but something as simple as introducing myself can set off anxiety. I’ve learned that doing self-talk helps. I never wanted to get on medication so I did/do a lot of reading on the subject and the biggest way to overcome this type of anxiety is to face your fears. I have come a LONG way from where I started but I have a ways to go. Just recently I decided to start openly talking about my battle with Social Anxiety to my friends and anyone who would listen. This is actually the first time this part of my life is being published somewhere. I noticed that being able to openly address your issues allows others to understand what you’re going through, and it also gives you an opportunity to help others. I want to one day be able to talk in front of an audience about my struggles to overcome Social Anxiety. But…I can’t do that until I actually overcome it… and I’m only halfway there!

Give us an idea of where you currently are in life and how that came to be?

Currently I am in a place of peace. I have a strong relationship with God. However, I don’t consider myself “religious.” I have a full time corporate job and doors are starting to open up allowing me to do more writing. I published my first book, Removing the Painting, in 2010. It is a compilation of short stories and poetry of my journey in life. I just finished writing my second book, a fiction novel entitled, The Daisy. I have yet to have it published, but I am currently seeking publishers.

On Writing and NtoUonline.com

Tell us about NtoUonline.com.

 

I used to write for a local magazine in Cleveland and always wanted to start my own. In late 2004, I created N-to-U Magazine with my then husband and a striving staff and an awesome graphic designer (Tyrone Johnson of ProlifiCreations). We started out as an entertainment pocket-sized magazine, something unique to the Jacksonville eye and fits in your pocket! The focus was still to uplift and honor small business owners and residents doing something positive. With both my partner and I working full time jobs, getting ads were the hardest part and the biggest struggle. For the early readers, they began to notice changes toward the end of our first year in circulation. There were some staff members no longer with us and new ones coming aboard. The You Should Know column went from one paragraph talking about healthcare to one paragraph with a Bible verse and inspirational thoughts. The models of the month went from wearing swimwear to wearing suits and gowns. The magazine was gradually changing because God was gradually changing us and we were getting convicted. Yet and still, we’d have a full page ad about the 2 for 1 drink specials at the hottest night club. The one year anniversary of the magazine was a celebration as well as the peeling of old dead skin.

Faced with trials of tribulations, I re-dedicated my life to Christ. Frustrated with the struggles of the first year and on the verge of giving up my dream, First Lady Narlene McLaughlin (The Potter’s House -Jacksonville) spoke these words to me, “Sometimes you have to let your dream die and allow God to resurrect it into something great!” As painful as it was to face, I had to let N-to-U die for a few months while God began to work on me and my partner. When God felt we were ready, he placed into our hearts to re-invent N-to-U and give it all to God! As I look back on it now, God was slowly weeding out the things that didn’t “belong” – and rebuilt NtoU with a larger size, a different logo, a greater determination and an even stronger staff. In 2008 we won the Gospel Announcers Guild Award for Excellence in a Magazine and continued to bless others. I have been running NtoU on my own since 2008 and after 8 years as a print publication, I transformed it into an online magazine in an effort to reach more people outside of the Florida distribution areas.

What inspired you to start NtoUonline.com?

I love inspiring others. I didn’t create this magazine to be a huge public figure. I created it so that I could share my experiences in life and hopefully bless someone else with it. I also wanted to be a positive publication in light of all the negative news/media publications constantly highlighting a world full of violence, fear and uncertainties. I wanted to give others a platform to highlight their achievements that may have gone un-noticed by others and/or just not acknowledged enough. I wanted to be the light in their (the readers) dark places.

Explain the name. How did NtoU come into existence?

When I had it set in my mind that I wanted to follow my dream of owning my own magazine- I tried thinking of a good name. I was at my friend Sonja Glasco’s house and told her I may name it something like “Wisdom” and she said “No, name it something cute and clever like Into You and spell it N2U” and I immediately liked it and said “I love that! The magazine that’s N-to-U” We decided not to use the number 2 because there was already a magazine with that spelling so we changed it to the word ‘to’ – it worked out later on when we switched the logo because now the T in the word ‘to’ is a cross.

Did you always aspire to be a writer? How did it come to be?

Actually, I wanted to be a counselor. I turned down three 4-yr scholarships when I finished high school because I didn’t want to leave my daughter with my mother to raise; I wanted to raise her on my own. My mom is amazing, but I just didn’t want to fall into that stereotype of having a child as a teenager and then running off leaving her for others to raise. I started going to a local college in Cleveland but life got in the way and I ended up moving to Jacksonville when I was 21 with only my daughter, 3 bags of clothes and $1000.00. I wanted a fresh start. The entire time I continued to write simply as a form of therapy for myself but I started noticing that it was a form of ministering to others when they read my writing.

What is the best?

The best part is being able to share the stories of amazing people with the world.

Provide an example of sacrifice that you have made for the sake of your career/goals.

Dealing with the aftermaths of a divorce, raising a child on my own, working a full time job and running a business (the magazine) on my own was a struggle and instead of having to give up the magazine, I turned it into an online magazine. This was a sacrifice because an online magazine was not my vision; I loved that feeling of picking up my printed magazine and seeing my hard work. I hope to one day go back to print but I had to learn to love the online magazine.

Has it been worth it?

Yes, it was definitely worth it because I am still able to bless even more people now from all over the world by being an online publication.

Are you fulfilled?

Very much. Every time someone I write an article on tells me thank you and every time someone I don’t even know come up to me and tell me how something I wrote blessed them… it fulfills me more than anything.

What is your focus? / What guides you on your path?

My focus is on taking the magazine to higher levels, getting my novel, The Daisy, published and advancing in self-development and my career.

What was has been the biggest learning experience for you during this time?

The biggest learning experience is that God knows best. Sometimes things happen, or don’t happen, that we don’t understand but then later on down the line you understand why it had to happen the way it did. I have learned to completely trust God. He knows best.

In Closing…

If you could share a word of advice or tip with others, what would you share?

Always follow your dreams and do what’s in your heart. You never fail when you try….

Finally, knowing where you are now and all you have experienced up until this point, what words of advice would you share with your younger self?

God made you just the way you were meant to be…. Don’t be afraid to be who you are.

What do you have in store for your future?

A happier and more prosperous ME!

If you are interested in advertising online with N to U Magazine and/or purchasing an article/interview slot, visit www.ntouonline.com for contact information.

Visit Founder and Writer Angell Davis with N to U Magazine TODAY!

 

“Writing is just a natural God-given talent for me.

If I can inspire just one person with the things I write, then it’s well worth it!”

– Angell Davis

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